It was a win that people will talk about in years to come. It will likely be one of those “where were you when Forbath kicked the winning field goal” wins. A win where our rookie QB, who has preformed like anything but a rookie, was all heart and pure leadership. Teary eyed, I watched as he collapsed on the field. His body seemingly riddled with pain after a jarring hit to his knee made it impossible for him to continue. The humility it took to turn his team over to another rookie, who had barely taken 5 professional snaps, when he realized he was no longer able to help our team win. It was only in my quiet musings afterward that I realized our Division rivals were celebrating an equally crucial field goal. However, their victory was more bitter sweet than ours. Lately, the plague of tragedy has swept the NFL. Within 2 weeks, two players have died; another incarcerated, and a girlfriend tragically murdered. In the aftermath of these horrific events, I’m struck by how quickly we have turned one into a vehicle to push through gun control and the other to business as usual.
Stories and memes of the Perkins/Belcher murder suicide have filled the news and social media. There were immediate reports of how many NFL players own guns, some 70-80%, released. There was a quantum leap from "the disgusting deaths" to "why guns need to be eradicated from society" as if radical gun control alone will forever quell the problem of domestic violence. I do not mean at all to belittle the experiences of women involved in dangerous relationships. I have known and loved too many abused women. I know the fear of a 3am phone call. I know the bruises hidden, and the excuses made. I know what it feels like to be afraid to help. It is not without sensitivity that I am disturbed by the trend of exploiting a tragedy to gain traction on a utterly unrelated agenda.
Instead of addressing the unrelenting objectifying of women or hyper-sexualization of our culture, the pandemic of reality TV (though I admit I’m guilty of supporting it as well), we continue to address the outliers of violence not the causes of it. We impose morality based legislation, but, refuse to make cultural adjustments needed to foster valuing human life, not in the anti-abortion sense. A true value, that does not kill each other over insults, resources, or punitive punishments. We cannot continue to teach our children that violence is an acceptable form of resolution. We cannot reinforce that pandering to fear is how you promote your beliefs, or that subjugation and oppression are methods of expressing masculinity. We must isolate needed gun control versus the radical and reactionary absconding of our right to bear arms.
If we simply look at the numbers, we’d admit that drunk driving and alcohol related deaths account for more life ending situations than guns. We’d address the fact that every stadium, night club, restaurant and, air port in the nation serves alcohol and turns out patrons on to the roads expecting them to exercise “good judgment”. We’d take a good look at sentence regulation for drunk drivers, domestic abusers and other violators of our civil contract with each other and admit that we created a system based on punishment as prevention (though we know punishment is a poor motivator) where no real punishment exists. I can sooner rape a child and receive fewer years in jail than if I killed an animal. (Yes, that is a shameless reference to Michael Vick.)
The intoxication manslaughter charges that Brent is facing is a move toward intolerance for drunk driving. However, I have to wonder why there is not public outcry to ban nightclubs from serving alcohol. Why do we expect that good judgment and discretion are employed when using a substance that clearly impairs your judgment, but we are quick to railroad ALL legal gun owners for the horrific decisions of one man who needed help and the woman and family forced to suffer the tragic consequences.
Gun regulations, by themselves, do not mollify or prevent gun violence and by perverse extension, violence against women. In general, gun laws impact legal gun owners, who overwhelming use good judgment while exercising their rights to ownership. I know that there is a nuanced conversation, especially in light of the continued stand your ground homicides, but, I do not believe that ending access to firearms is the answer. If you look at areas where guns are legally available to their citizens, crime rates are almost always lower. If you look at the motivating factors behind these tragedies, even the stand your ground deaths, it is not the gun. It is fear of Black men. It is dominance of men over women. It is the illusion that violence equals power.
Stories and memes of the Perkins/Belcher murder suicide have filled the news and social media. There were immediate reports of how many NFL players own guns, some 70-80%, released. There was a quantum leap from "the disgusting deaths" to "why guns need to be eradicated from society" as if radical gun control alone will forever quell the problem of domestic violence. I do not mean at all to belittle the experiences of women involved in dangerous relationships. I have known and loved too many abused women. I know the fear of a 3am phone call. I know the bruises hidden, and the excuses made. I know what it feels like to be afraid to help. It is not without sensitivity that I am disturbed by the trend of exploiting a tragedy to gain traction on a utterly unrelated agenda.
Instead of addressing the unrelenting objectifying of women or hyper-sexualization of our culture, the pandemic of reality TV (though I admit I’m guilty of supporting it as well), we continue to address the outliers of violence not the causes of it. We impose morality based legislation, but, refuse to make cultural adjustments needed to foster valuing human life, not in the anti-abortion sense. A true value, that does not kill each other over insults, resources, or punitive punishments. We cannot continue to teach our children that violence is an acceptable form of resolution. We cannot reinforce that pandering to fear is how you promote your beliefs, or that subjugation and oppression are methods of expressing masculinity. We must isolate needed gun control versus the radical and reactionary absconding of our right to bear arms.
If we simply look at the numbers, we’d admit that drunk driving and alcohol related deaths account for more life ending situations than guns. We’d address the fact that every stadium, night club, restaurant and, air port in the nation serves alcohol and turns out patrons on to the roads expecting them to exercise “good judgment”. We’d take a good look at sentence regulation for drunk drivers, domestic abusers and other violators of our civil contract with each other and admit that we created a system based on punishment as prevention (though we know punishment is a poor motivator) where no real punishment exists. I can sooner rape a child and receive fewer years in jail than if I killed an animal. (Yes, that is a shameless reference to Michael Vick.)
The intoxication manslaughter charges that Brent is facing is a move toward intolerance for drunk driving. However, I have to wonder why there is not public outcry to ban nightclubs from serving alcohol. Why do we expect that good judgment and discretion are employed when using a substance that clearly impairs your judgment, but we are quick to railroad ALL legal gun owners for the horrific decisions of one man who needed help and the woman and family forced to suffer the tragic consequences.
Gun regulations, by themselves, do not mollify or prevent gun violence and by perverse extension, violence against women. In general, gun laws impact legal gun owners, who overwhelming use good judgment while exercising their rights to ownership. I know that there is a nuanced conversation, especially in light of the continued stand your ground homicides, but, I do not believe that ending access to firearms is the answer. If you look at areas where guns are legally available to their citizens, crime rates are almost always lower. If you look at the motivating factors behind these tragedies, even the stand your ground deaths, it is not the gun. It is fear of Black men. It is dominance of men over women. It is the illusion that violence equals power.
What we need is not stronger gun control. What we need is a culture that does not operate based on the irrational fears of its citizens. Whether that fear is a world where people are as equal in reality as we’d like to say the law defines them to be, or, where women and children are no longer the property of men. What we need is a cultural shift. This nation tried prohibition. It increased all of the ails it sought to end. We do not need gun prohibition. We need cultural progress. If we continue to pacify issues with laws that do not attack the underlying causes, we will continue to bury the innocent. If we continue to turn tragedy into political opportunism, we will usurp our rights, and marry ourselves proverbially and literally to band-aids over bullet wounds.
Please keep all of the families touched by these tragedies in your thoughts and prayers.
Please keep all of the families touched by these tragedies in your thoughts and prayers.
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